Perhaps ya Allah, I really miss You

When Prophet Musa a.s. said 'perhaps Allah will guide me' on the way to Madyan, the word 'perhaps' here is not meaning that he doesn't trust Allah, in Arabic , its hard to translate it to English, but the word here actually means like,.. you were thinking good of Allah. like ' Perhaps later when I got home I got good news from Allah' for example...

So for those who have hard time or uneasy heart due to anything...
Tell Allah...

***
Ya Allah when you grew me up,
And I ve been from the past you had grew me up,
For everything is so beautiful ya Allah
Both tears and laughters....
thank You ya Allah

Ya Allah I am nothing really..
Sometimes from where I've been
I questioned things to understand better ya Rabb..
But deep in my heart, I knew if theres something hurt me
Its definitely not from You ya Rabb
Because You always want the goodness for me and all of Your creations:'

So if theres something hurt about the law or anything in ad Deen ya Allah
It must have been how some mankind misunderstood Your words..
or how they have misused and misinterpret Your words
and misled others for their desire..

For if they don't know the consequences and the pain that they have caused to others..
But You know
And You count
And You record :'
You listen and You feel me..

For sometimes I don't understand everything ya Allah
No matter how I learn.. sometimes I don't understand ya Allah
But its okay ya Allah
Its okay...

Alhamdulillah I am a woman ya Allah
Alhamdulillah You have created me a muslim and a woman being :'

Therefore ya Allah..
When I don't understand anything
in my tears... I trust You.

:'

I don't mind anything ya Allah
Just let me keep on trusting You..
Let me just trust You ya Allah

Its okay really..

Because deep inside, I know..

Perhaps Allah want to give me something more out of this.

Perhaps it will ease for me later on and soon..

Perhaps my future will be more beautiful than I've ever thought

Perhaps Allah will grant me what I hope for and what I ve dreamt for in duniya and akhirah..

Perhaps, if theres something that is not meant for me, Allah will replace something better earlier so that I won't be much hurt

Perhaps if it meant for me, Allah will let my heart rest in full trust of Him and convince my heart that it really meant for me

Perhaps Allah will guide me always to the truth

Perhaps Allah really want me to love Him so much

Perhaps one day I can be much beloved to Him like the companions of Rasulullah s.a.w.

Perhaps Allah really reserve for me unparalleled love

Perhaps Allah has built a home for me in Jannah near to Him..

Perhaps He is taking such a good care of me and my family

Perhaps Allah really miss me..

Perhaps He want me to be with Him so much..

Perhaps... He is jealous when I'm thinking about people and duniya more than Him so He want me to think about Him always...

Perhaps He do really talk good things about me to the Angels up in the heaven

Perhaps He is planning an amazing and incredible journey of mine ahead...

Perhaps on the Day of Judgement, He will call me, my love :'

Perhaps He will grant me love that is true..

Perhaps Allah will give me more than sufficient sustenance

Perhaps Allah will let my heart love Him more than anything...

Perhaps Allah will always guide my heart...

Perhaps Allah want the best for me always...

*

Perhaps ya Allah... I really do miss You..

Perhaps I just miss You.