Allah is my witness that when I write this out, my heart goes all into it.
I just found the missing piece of me.
The things that I want to work out within me more...
And to realize there's something wrong inside me.
So I need to fix it with the help of Allah.
Wow. How do I start?
I want to tell you about a person who I felt so much wisdom inside her, and she is 4 years older than me.
Masha Allah sister, may Allah bless you so much and extra.
So this person, lets say her name is Mayra.
So Mayra was once a teenage girl who is probably sixteen years old and learn living a life in her family.
I won't go into details ; as usual, but inshaAllah you get me and my feels.
One day, she was crying. She was really deeply hurt with her father. She was crying on behalf of her mother. She said
'Baba, why you always said that all of your success and everything come from Allah and that's all? Why didn't you say about ummi as well? If it was not because of her you wouldn't get anything.. All of this success...
And she inhaled deeply and was trying to catch her breath. She was deeply in emotional state and she was crying. She was angry and upset. Her father and mother just listen to her. Her mother say 'It's okay... let her finish'
And so Mayra continue in a loud voice, 'Baba, you never acknowledge anything of what ummi has done to you, why? Why didn't you say how much she has help you? It is so unfair to her! If this is the case, what's the point of marriage? What's the point of giving all of you to this person and this person doesn't even acknowledge it? I hate this kind of life..' and she burst into tears again.
Again I have to remind you that she was sixteen at that time.
And then Mayra stopped. Her father just kept quiet.
As soon as Mayra calmed herself down, her mother say to her 'Mayra, let me talk to you for a while'
And then her mother dragged her in the corner of the room and said to her
That word make her stunned at her mother.
'You stupid. Why would you say that to your father?
There are more life than just to feel acknowledged.
There are more life than just to feel appreciated.
More life to it.
Your father covers my weaknesses. And I cover his weaknesses.
He help me and provide me by the will of Allah.
Daughter, there are more life than just seeking to feel good.
There are more life than just seeking to feel secure or to feel amazing and to feel wonderful.
More life to it'
And Mayra was quite. And she was amazed.
I was amazed. I was really thrilled by this life experience.
My dear sisters especially, sometimes we need to control our emotion.
Learn to have wisdom and rational thoughts behind it.
Like especially, we often seeking the pleasure to feel something from people.
I mean of course, as a women we feel a lot. That's our fitrah alhamdulillah.
But seeking to feel wonderful, amazing, pretty, confidence, secure, loved by people in this duniya is a bad goal.
You expected from people who is not perfect and never going to be perfect... why?
We have to redirect our emotions.
Redirect to our Lord, the Only One who can make you feel all of that.
And the most of all, the One who can provide you just to feel content. Enough, and happy of everything He had given you.
May Allah help us to become a better mu'min everyday and see things clearer with wisdom and rationality that can only come from Allah.
Ya Allah, the One who is sufficient for me, and all of my feelings is in Your hand, Allah, the turner of my heart, turn my heart to You and only to those which what pleased You.