Sometimes when we are being tested...
apart from having really good thoughts of Allah which is a necessary,
We have to have muhasabah.
Sometimes we do so much wrong, without we realising it.
The mistakes that we did, we have to think about it and make istighfar always.
When it comes to mistakes especially to people, you need to mend it by ask forgiveness.
And ask Allah so much to help you.
You know.. I really like this du'a
ya Allah dont punish me when I did mistakes, yet forgive me and gives me rahmah (i take this du'a from Surah al Baqarah the last ayah)
So beautiful right?
Because we are not perfect, we make mistakes.
Sometimes we feel so bad.
"Sometimes I really hate myself. But Allah never"
Sometimes we make mistakes due to rush and impatient.
We forgot to think rationally first and ask Allah to help you to pursue the next step.
We really forgot that we need Him every single thing that we do.
So when we have muhasabah, theres deep feeling of regret in your heart.
And the regret is so much pain.
That it makes you cry to Allah.
That makes you feel and say
'Ya Allah why did I do that? Why didn't I asked Allah for Your help first to pursue what should I do?"
And let the tears purify our heart so much.
And then you have to believe. Extremely believe that Allah has overlook your mistakes.
Allah already forgives you.
The reason you keep on asking forgiveness is to be closer to Allah.
But you have to have yaqeen that Allah has forgiven you.
He created you and want you to exist in this world. Why would you want you to be not exist?
Didn't you count all the blessings He has given you?
If Allah AlMighty trust in you, that you can face this trials and tests, thats why He put you into this tests, why not you trust yourself?
And ask Allah to help you so much?
You know.. Sometimes I really understand why Allah tested me. He wanna teach me the quality of a true mu'min so much.. But you see, I am really weak
I am created softly and extremely fragile...So i am scared so much of the tests.
And suddenly Allah is so nice to me, He inspire me in my heart to pray this
"Ya Allah everytime You wanna test me
everytime You wanna teach me ya Allah....
test me softly...
teach me softly...
deal with me with Your utmost gentleness,...
because I am really weak ya Allah...
Be soft so much to me ya Allah...
You are the One who is The Most Gentle "