Allah's beloved

Salam Maulidurrasul. 

Allahumma Solli A'la Muhammad,  Wa a'laihi wassalam. 

The most touching story that I know about Rasulullah to me is when the day of entrance to the Paradise and Rasulullah s.a.w. will be our leader.  And when he knock the Gate of Jannah.  Paradise ask "Who is there?". Rasulullah replied "I am Muhammad ibn Abdullah". The Jannah open the gate and said "We were waiting for you all this long. Upon creation of Paradise Allah said "my beloved will open this door". SubhanaAllah.  And Rasulullah's name will be at the trees at everywhere in Jannah.  MashaAllah. .

Allah loves Rasulullah so much.  How could we not love him.. :')

I love you.

In the time when Allah gives you tests, that was the time when you have to remember your nikmah the most, because wallahi its hard but you can.

People who intentionally hurt other people won't get away from what have they done because Allah is the Most Fair towards their slaves.

And for those who forgives other people are in better places.

Sometimes you don't know the true colour of your friends until a day when Allah reveals to you. If they are sincere they won't backstab you.

But if they backstab you, then undo your love.

Because your precious heart and love are meant to be most for Allah, and then your family and then for those who are ikhlas being with you; your true sahabat.

Alhamdulillah because everything happen for a reason.

For those who love to attack people and harass people emotionally know that Allah sees it all.

For those who felt satisfied doing that, know that Allah listens to the du'a of the oppressed ones.
Ya Rabb alhamdulillah for them.

In Islam, protect the weak is not just humanity but it is an obligation.

May Allah save us from people who are not worth of our precious heart and only lead us to those who worth every single of our love.

And remember those who love you truly and had been there with you through thick and thin. 

This special post is dedicated to my family and sahabat as an appreciation for always be there for me through my ups and down

To my beloved mummy - Zarra Raz, my beloved daddy, Nash Salleh, my beloved sisters, Shaira and Syarah , my beloved sahabat Aini Wahab , Nadia Omar, Nur Syiffa Rosman, and many more.

Thank you so much for being there with me through thick and thin and stay with me for my strength and my weakness. I love you.

Being loved and to love

"Being loved and to love" is the best thing in life. Even our religion, Islam starts with love.

Allah loves His slaves purely and out of His love, He sent people to love His slaves.

It is beautiful because love and mercy comes together and didn't ever separate. For Mercy is a form of love, and Love is a form of mercy.

When you have mercy towards others, its actually Allah whom instil it within you out of His Mercy for you.

Allah said so in the Quran for our beloved Prophet s.a.w. "it is out of Our Mercy that you become soft to them,if you were to become harsh, they would have flee from you". SubhanaAllah. I find that this ayah is so an interesting ayah.

Allah is so nice and out of His pure unconditional love, He makes people in love with each other because of Him.

Sometimes there just no ultimate reason to love people. It just therefore for the sake of Allah and it is from sincerity of the heart.

For those who always come back to Allah and then lost for a while and then come back and then lost again, for them is ultimate forgiveness.

Allah said in Hadith Qudsi.. "for them is ultimate forgiveness because they know their Lord whom are the Most Forgiving to them"
"They have yaqeen in My forgiveness towards them because I am the Most Forgiving, the Oft Forgiving"

SubhanaAllah. How much kind is Allah is.

I love this hadith so much and it has humbled me because you know, my mistakes humbled me.

And truly its better to be humble than to be arrogant and sometimes Allah causes us to do some mistakes in life to humble us.

Therefore never feel remorse or despair over a fall, instead feel grateful because it is indeed a blessing so that we always come back to Allah.

Alhamdulillah for a harder test, alhamdulillah for the more beautiful nikmah, alhamdulillah for getting better than we expected.

Alhamdulillah ya Allah for everything in this life. May You sustain and increase our blessings and may You grant us the best returning to You in Paradise.

Who gonna love you sincerely

Dear girls and specifically muslimah. This is a thread about jealousy and evil eye.

Why would you feel jealous of people of Allah has given more beauty or happiness and success for example?
Allah has said in the Quran that..

There are group of people whom Allah increase them over another due to their hard work and efforts.

And if you want something you can ask Allah, so Allah will give them to you inshaAllah but don't feel jealous of those whom Allah has given the same or more.

Let me tell you something, jealousy can ruin relationship or friendship just like a blink of an eye.

And syaitan loves that. That the relationship and friendship (ukhuwah) because of Allah is ruined. Thats their target. So why would us as a muslim and mu'min succumb to that?

If you see people that become more beautiful over years, be happy for them and say alhamdulillah because if you love them because of Allah you would want them to be beautiful, happy and successful. That's real love. So why would you build envy in the heart for them?

For those who feel insecure and not jealousy, you need to see those who are below than you. Those who are less fortunate than you. Because..

Because Rasulullah s.a.w. said so. The best of mankind said so. If you keep on scrolling the instagram for example with all those filters..
and perfection you tend to feel lack of self esteem and lack of confidence even though Allah Himself said that you were created beautiful.

And don't let your feeling of insecurity make you run away from people who love you sincerely.

Because sometimes you felt like its easy to find people who gonna love you sincerely but actually its hard. You are lucky if you've been loved this way. Say and feel alhamdulillah.

***

Therefore I wanna share with you some supplications and du'as to be recited always for protection of jealousy, hatred and evil eyes
.
The best surah for protection of hasaad and jealousy is Surah Al Falaq.

And there is one ayah that Rasulullah said if you read this 7 times, both of your duniya and akhirah will make you feel content.
This is Surah at Taubah, ayah 129. And then I recommend you to recite one ayat in al Mathurat that says ya Allah I seek refuge by your kalimah..

Ya Allah I seek refuge by your kalimah(words) from all of Your creations.

***
May Allah protect our friendship and relationship because of Allah from all the jealousy, hasaad, hatred and evil eye.

Ya Rabb, we seek refuge and protection from You the most Highest.

My heart loves loyalty

Ya Rabb.. when my heart cries theres nobody heard it but You.

Ya Rabb if You choose me a husband from this duniya let him be loyal to me here and hereafter. 

For as much as You don’t like associationism of worshiping You is as much as I don’t like associationism of loving me ya Rabb. 

For how much You possess Oneness of You and tauhid is as much as I love the Oneness of beloved in heart. 

For how much You hate and preventing us betrayal of You and the Deen in any form, is how much I hate betrayal in any of it forms.

 Ya Rabb, if You are mad at me for asking of what my heart hope of You, then who is going to listen to me other than You, ya Rabb.. :’ 

For whom are there is going to understand my tears and my hope other than You ya Rabb..my Creator. 

Ya Rabb if You choose me a husband from this duniya then let him be loyal to me. 

For I love loyalty in all of it forms ya Rabb.. 
For my heart loves loyalty in all of it forms.


10/9/2016

When you love

"When you love someone for the sake of Allah, it is Allah who you truly love. So whenever you remember that person in your heart, you are reminded of your true love (Allah) and this automatically increases your love for that person."

-Ibn Taymiyah 

Ikhlas in loving

What is ikhlas in loving?

Dear everybody,

We can love a lot of people, even our family and friends because of so many beautiful reasons.

If you love someone because of their physical looks or their shape, for example, later when they get old or when you are long enough with that person, you will find someone else far more beautiful than her/him.

If you love someone because of how soft that person is, and how gentle they are, and how sweet they are and just because of the personality he/she is, one day you will find that he/she also will become hard sometimes, and will become sensitive and offended, will mad and angry when they are tired, and at that time, you will find that, theres a lot of other guys/girls out there who are superior in their characters and manners than that person.

If you love someone because of their Deen, of how much they wake up tahajud everyday, for how much they post Islamic things in social media, for how much they recite and memorise Quran everyday, one day you will find that their Iman is also goes up and down, and sometimes they skip tahajud too, and sometimes they are tired in memorising and they need a break, and sometimes , just sometimes they didn't show you hence its not appearance of how much they connect with Allah, and at that time, you may find someone out there who are far more religious in your eyes than him/her.

If you love someone because of their status and popularity, and how much people say they are kind and nice, and how much they are known in the society, and how much that person is referred and being complemented, and how much people are amazed by her/his kindness and characters, one day, when you see that he/she crumbled up too, lose his/her spirit too, feeling demotivated too, and want to isolate from people too, and at that time, you will find that, there are many people who are more amazing, great and incredible than her/him.

If you love someone because of how much they love and want you, and show to you how much they need you and make your heart flattered, dear people, feeling changes, and heart is controlled by Allah and at that time you may feel as if there are a lot of other people out there who can love you better.

Therefore...

What is the reason to love people?

Simply the answer is no other reason than just because of Allah.

Loving people for the sake of Allah. In that solid reason, you would find that people make mistakes and hurt you sometimes unintentionally, people have mood changes and is inconsistent, people would not achieve all great things and they also have failures in life. That the people, human being is a weak creation of God and need Allah all the time. At that moment you realise, that you would support the one whom you love, no matter how hard the situation is.. why? Simply because of Allah. Simply for the sake of Allah. And this is what we called as ikhlas in loving.

*

How do we know if we are ikhlas in loving?

We would never know our ikhlas, our sincerity because ikhlas is only in the knowledge of Allah. Only Allah knew how much ikhlas you are in doing anything for the sake of Him. However, it would have shown by your actions. It would have shown when you tolerate towards your sisters and friends for example. It would have shown when you don't just leave your friend when your friend sometimes hurt you. It shows when you apologise to your friend for the sake of sahabat for Allah just so that you didn't lose this friendship.

SubhanaAllah.

*

Rasulullah said, narrated in a sahih hadith, for those people who love each other just for the sake of Allah, for them shall be shade and shield of Allah on the day of Judgement. MashaAllah. How much is that rewards ya Rabb? So much ya Rabb.. :') Why it is so much ya Rabb? Because Allah said so in Surah Ar Rahman...

'What is the reward of excellence other than excellence?'

MashaAllah.

Ya Allah...
We ask You so that You grant us ikhlas in everything that we do, ikhlas in loving people for the sake of You, and we ask You to be granted people whom love us ikhlas and sincerely because of You ya Rabb, here in duniya and hereafter in Jannah.

Ameen ya Allah.

Allah's love for me

Tell me, how much I should praise Him..
When I received this much :'

For the love of You that never stop

Ya Allah...

Thank You so much..

For every hope that I made

For every breath that I take

For every love that You've instil in me ya Rabb

For every happiness that I feel

For laughter that I made

For dancing around the house when I feel the joy

For jumping around when I received good news

For making my mum and dad proud of me ya Allah..

For every walk that I take

For every rest that I made

For every words that I write

For every words that I love

For every kindness to me

For every hurt that I feel

For every sadness that I have to encounter with

For every du'a that fills me

For every tears that I made

For the love of You that never stop

For my hope into You..

For every single time..

For every move that I made in Solaah

For every of the recitation of the Quran

For every of Your words that touched my heart

For my heart and my soul

For my loved ones whom I love

For my everything in me that I love so much

For secure that You promised me

For love that You promised me

For the Day that You promised me

For the safety that You will give

Thank You Ya Allah...
For everything Ya Allah
Thank You ya Allah

So much.

Speechless

Allah is so nice. <3

The unseen realms

Istikharah's du'a

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيمِ فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلَا أَقْدِرُ وَتَعْلَمُ وَلَا أَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتَ عَلَّامُ الْغُيُوبِ اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ خَيْرٌ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاقْدُرْهُ لِي وَيَسِّرْهُ لِي ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِيهِ وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ وَاقْدُرْ لِي الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي

“O Allah, verily I seek the better [of either choice] from You, by Your knowledge,

and I seek ability from You, 

by Your power,

and I ask You from Your immense bounty. 

For indeed You have power, and I am powerless; 

You have knowledge and I know not; 

You are the Knower of the unseen realms. 

O Allah, if You know that this matter is good for me with regard to my religion,

my livelihood and the end of my affair then decree it for me,

facilitate it for me, and grant me blessing in it. 

And if You know that this matter is bad for me with regard to my religion,

 my livelihood and the end of my affair 

then turn it away from me and me from it; 

and decree for me better than it, wherever it may be, and make me content with it.”

Perhaps ya Allah, I really miss You

When Prophet Musa a.s. said 'perhaps Allah will guide me' on the way to Madyan, the word 'perhaps' here is not meaning that he doesn't trust Allah, in Arabic , its hard to translate it to English, but the word here actually means like,.. you were thinking good of Allah. like ' Perhaps later when I got home I got good news from Allah' for example...

So for those who have hard time or uneasy heart due to anything...
Tell Allah...

***
Ya Allah when you grew me up,
And I ve been from the past you had grew me up,
For everything is so beautiful ya Allah
Both tears and laughters....
thank You ya Allah

Ya Allah I am nothing really..
Sometimes from where I've been
I questioned things to understand better ya Rabb..
But deep in my heart, I knew if theres something hurt me
Its definitely not from You ya Rabb
Because You always want the goodness for me and all of Your creations:'

So if theres something hurt about the law or anything in ad Deen ya Allah
It must have been how some mankind misunderstood Your words..
or how they have misused and misinterpret Your words
and misled others for their desire..

For if they don't know the consequences and the pain that they have caused to others..
But You know
And You count
And You record :'
You listen and You feel me..

For sometimes I don't understand everything ya Allah
No matter how I learn.. sometimes I don't understand ya Allah
But its okay ya Allah
Its okay...

Alhamdulillah I am a woman ya Allah
Alhamdulillah You have created me a muslim and a woman being :'

Therefore ya Allah..
When I don't understand anything
in my tears... I trust You.

:'

I don't mind anything ya Allah
Just let me keep on trusting You..
Let me just trust You ya Allah

Its okay really..

Because deep inside, I know..

Perhaps Allah want to give me something more out of this.

Perhaps it will ease for me later on and soon..

Perhaps my future will be more beautiful than I've ever thought

Perhaps Allah will grant me what I hope for and what I ve dreamt for in duniya and akhirah..

Perhaps, if theres something that is not meant for me, Allah will replace something better earlier so that I won't be much hurt

Perhaps if it meant for me, Allah will let my heart rest in full trust of Him and convince my heart that it really meant for me

Perhaps Allah will guide me always to the truth

Perhaps Allah really want me to love Him so much

Perhaps one day I can be much beloved to Him like the companions of Rasulullah s.a.w.

Perhaps Allah really reserve for me unparalleled love

Perhaps Allah has built a home for me in Jannah near to Him..

Perhaps He is taking such a good care of me and my family

Perhaps Allah really miss me..

Perhaps He want me to be with Him so much..

Perhaps... He is jealous when I'm thinking about people and duniya more than Him so He want me to think about Him always...

Perhaps He do really talk good things about me to the Angels up in the heaven

Perhaps He is planning an amazing and incredible journey of mine ahead...

Perhaps on the Day of Judgement, He will call me, my love :'

Perhaps He will grant me love that is true..

Perhaps Allah will give me more than sufficient sustenance

Perhaps Allah will let my heart love Him more than anything...

Perhaps Allah will always guide my heart...

Perhaps Allah want the best for me always...

*

Perhaps ya Allah... I really do miss You..

Perhaps I just miss You.

Teach me how to love like You

I was searching for an empty notebook to write something and suddenly I saw my written notes, I am not sure how many months ago, but I remembered how I wrote this, and why I wrote this and everything behind each words. Ya Rabb, I get so touched with the inspiration You ve given me that I wish to share it here

***
Ya Allah... teach me how to love like You want me to
to love people who I don't attached my heart to
to love people who I don't hope for owning their time, thoughts and presence

Ya Allah who owns me and my heart...
teach me how to love like You
unconditionally, without expecting any rewards from them
unconditionally in their strength and their weakness
unconditionally when they are hard and when they are soft

Ya Allah ,Ya Waduud, teach me how to love like You
sincerely for You
where when my heart is broken,
I didn't blame for their wrongness
where when my heart broken,
I fall down in prostration and tears only to You,
where when my heart broken,
I found comfort only with You, my Lord
where when my heart broken,
I still can love and the love doesn't die..

Ya Allah... teach me how to love like You,
where when I am tired, I still gives
where when I was angry, I still smile
where when I was hurt, I have patience

Ya Allah... teach me how to love like You
all my soul giving softness and tenderness
and all my heart attached to only You
the Creator of happiness.

Ya Allah teach me how to love like You.

Purest love

I can't imagine like.. Wow...
The feelings that I felt is created by You
SubhanaAllah
But Your feeling yakni Your love is not created, it is Your attribute The Most Loving

MashaAllah how to breathe properly this day ya Allah..

My love towards You is created by You for me to feel this ..and You put it inside my heart ya Allah...

then if this is the hubban if this is the love .. Then how much love is Yours ..

How do I even imagine Your love
the purest form of love

My feelings goes on and off ya Allah..
But Yours...

SubhanaAllah

I am happy with You

Wallahi. I swear by Allah. Those who are in deep pain or hurt. Your relief is close. Use the time when you hurt the most to be only. Only with Him.

The only route of happiness, and this is a reminder again for me also so much. I think I write this many times. Really. Is to be really in deep link with Allah.

Allah gives you barakah in everything u do when you put Allah first in your life. For example when you study,Allah increase your concentration

Do you know statically,those who pass with excellent mark at most universities are those who memorize the Quran? Wow, I heard it was 90% of the students.

I learn a valuable lesson. SubhanaAllah. I wish to share it with everyone who deeply hurt but something called duniya. You need to detach.

And its easier said than be done. Like really, in my life, like everyone has different struggle of course,but each of you has different fear.

My fear is deeply start in my childhood & I won't open about this.But its all duniya. Wallahi.Like even people, its duniya. So I learn...

I learn what Allah has thought me the most. To fear only Him.Not duniya.Not people.Don't fear about this duniya, you will be returned to Him.

One day I was deeply hurt and I slept dreaming somebody say to me.'All in this duniya is belong to Him and it is His. All in the akhirah is belong to Him and it is His'

You see. No matter what we belong to Him. All in this duniya belong to Him. So He do whatever He wills. You don't control anything.

I learn to realize that He created me for Him. Solely for Him. To love Him. To worship Him to be with Him always, not duniya. You know why?

Because just being with Him, He will make the duniya ease for you.

And thats the truth. Wallahi.

Sometimes we forgot that He misses us so much, especially when our mind and heart is only focus more in duniya.So we need to learn to detach

Sometimes we need to go away.Go away to Him. Your escape route is Allah. He will take care of your heart.He will provide the happiness for you

I ve never been much happier in my life till I feel the sweetness of being with Him. Wallahi theres no better feeling.

When you are with Him, you are happy. Allah put content in your heart. Because He creates you my dear all of you. He is the One who can make you happy.

You are beloved to Him. He is the One who can provide you unconditional love. Love that has no parallel. Love that is so much till you felt awe.

When you really feel the love of Allah, you will feel so ya Allah,What can I say? Let me tell you the ayah of Surah Maryam it is so beautiful.

Allah said to those who believe and do good deeds, Allah will reserve for him/her love. Unconditional love. Love that you never seen before.

If you feel around really, Allah loves you my brother and sister. Why would you search in anywhere else? He provide u. Feel ur heart beating.

Feel your stomach. Feel your comfortness in your bed. Feel your eyes when you can see things. Feel your touch. Feel your breath.

And tell me... does anyone, or anything could love you better than Allah?

***

Ya Allah, I am happy with You my Rabb. So much.

:'

My heart

Now is 11 pm here in this beautiful city of Dublin.
I am listening to Maher Zain -I love you so.
I don't always post about me.
But this night.
While preparing for tomorrow class.
My heart want to write for a while.

I really enjoy this nasheed though.
So beautiful lyrics...
Sometimes I really think...
Like... sometimes...I am really scared..
I wish Allah keep me and my loved ones firm in this Deen..

You see our ummah...
I am really sad when my friends becoming different from they were...
Like we used to remind each other about Allah a lot..
but now... she is different.
But its okay....
I hope and pray that Allah always guide her so much.


Alhamdulillah...
my sadness really dissapear when I think about my sahabat
I am so thankful to have Aini.
She is really my sahabat duniya akhirah.
I dont know if she read this...
but I really love her.

Wallahi.

Today is my dad birthday.
I told him that Paradise wont feel like Paradise without you.
He is happy alhamdulillah.
I really love him.
Sometimes.., when I am here in Dublin... and I am far from my loved ones and my family..
I am really scared...
Especially when it comes to parent
How much time left for me to be able to be their happiness?
And them to be my happiness?

I am forever grateful to You ya Allah.
I really do...
Ya Allah today... a lot of miracle things happen to me...
I just pray to be granted beautiful telekung
And You are so nice to give me...:'
I am so touched ya Allah..
Just the way I wanted...
And someone give me that as a present
Thank You ya Allah...

My boot is torn but
I didnt pray to get boots...
I just feel its okay I have the other one shoes even though its not boot. Even though when it rains.. and my socks are wet.. and its uncomfortable but i really love the other shoes You ve given me ya Allah.
I really do feel okay... I am okay without boot.

But Allah is so nice to me today..
You know,,..
Allah give me two boots :'
Suddenly...my senior left with two boots with perfectly fit my size...
I know its nothing really for some people..
But to me...
I feel so touched..
Ya Allah you are so nice to me :'
I dont even ask you to give me boots... but You give me two boots :'
And its so beautiful :''
Thank You ya Allah....
I am really happy ya Allah.. I really do...

thank You so much ya Allah
thank You so much ya Allah...
And you give me beautiful dresses that I didnt pray for but I really do appreciate them so much
Thank you ya Allah :'

You are so nice to me
Today I remember I want to check on something..something that i unable to access
I cant because its private...
I dont know why I have the urge to check it...
So I pray la ilaha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntum minazzolimin
And suddenly  a few while..
I can access to it..
I dont know really how...
But thank You ya Allah...
I feel so happy that Allah gives me that I forgot why I even want to check..

You are really nice to me...
I dont mind now...
everything really...
Because no matter what I have You
And Ya Allah You always enough for me...

Alhamdulillah...
Ya Allah..help me so much...
like You always do...

I owe You ya Allah...
Everything of me.

Undeserved

When you make du’a to Allah

And somehow what you ask for

you really feel undeserved for it

still you have high hopes for Allah

because you feel how much He can just give

and bless you with what your heart need

... you cannot help but to cry

When you remember all the blessings

that you have now and before

and you really feel undeserved for it

because of much mistakes and wrongs 

and much forgetful you are to thank Him so much

…you cannot help but to cry

When you think of how much Allah 

has always be there and stay for you

even when in a day when you are

so busy with this worldly lives

and yet He never fail to help you so much

to accomplish your doings so much

…you cannot help but to cry

And sometimes that meaningless of yourself

and the nothingness you felt within

for much of helpless you are

when you said ‘ya Allah I really do not deserve’

…you cannot help but to cry

***

Ya Allah I really do not deserve. 

For all the things you have given me

And much that you have put me through…

I want to tell You even though You knew

I am so much not deserving of all of this..

And for the thanks that could never be enough..

Thank You ya Allah. 

So much. :'

Allah loves you better

Allah really loves you better. Loves you better than yourself so much.
Sometimes what you ask for is really bad for your heart and yourself and may cause your heart to ache so much. So He didn’t grant you that specific du’a that you made.

Now The name of Allah He is The Most Protector comes in and you need it more than the name of Allah, The Most Giving. Or both. Because He is the most protecting , he is giving you protection from what you want that could harm you. SubhanaAllah.

Because really… tell me. Do you really know the unseen? That you thought is good for you, really do you really know that it brings happiness to you?
You don’t know.
Admit it you really don’t know if its going to hurt you or bring happiness to you.
You may thought it brings happiness but in all honesty you really don’t know.

Ya Allah I really don’t know.

And thats when you realize that Allah loves you better than yourself.

I can feel this when Allah said in the Quran about He is the Knower of all things…
'Why don’t you trust in My wisdoms? I know whats good for you, why don’t you trust in Me?'

SubhanaAllah.

And thats when you ask for Him to interfere with your life. Because the matter fact is that Allah loves me better than myself.
What I want for me might hurt me and He doesn’t want ever to cause harm for me.

So sometimes He didn’t give yet or specifically grant your du’a because He loves you better.
Why don’t you trust Him?

My love..get up.

I think theres a lot more than this. In this heart..that I wanna share regarding this.

But this is...what Allah let me wrote.

And I can't say anything else.

Will you feel this?

Tell me, will you feel this? So much that I hope you do.

Ya Allah let this always be in my heart.

And our hearts.

******

Ya Allah...

“How could I…

Jealous of both of my beloved?

You and Your most beloved, Muhammad s.a.w.

How could I be jealous ya Allah..

I know ya Allah..

you loves us so much..

I mean...of course, you love Rasulullah s.a.w

the most

You love him the most.

But its okay..

Im okay ya Allah…

Out of all Your creations, you said he is your most beloved (habibullah).

Your most beloved ones..

Im okay ya Allah..

***

When you said that on the day of judgement, the first grave You want to open is the grave of Your beloved, Muhammad s.a.w..

I m okay ya Allah.

When you said to Paradise, that the gate of Jannah will not be open until my beloved opens it.

The Paradise that you have said you ve created it for all of your pleased creations, the place that is so sacred that you kept so well.

And the place where nobody can ever imagine the beautiful of it, the rahmah of it, the wonderful of it..ya Allah.

And you said, it won’t be open to anyone, until my beloved open it..

You said, 'until my beloved open it'..

Im okay ya Allah..

I m really okay ya Allah.

When the day of judgement, and Rasulullah s.a.w will make sajdah to You so long, that he cried so much asking You to help us..

And You will say to Rasulullah,

"My love, get up..

Say what you want… Today I will not disappoint you"

You said 'my love' to him.

You said..get up my love.. :'

I m okay ya Allah

I m really okay..

dear heart..its okay.

I wish you would say someday to me, when you look at me and you said “nadia, my love..”

How would I breath.. ya Allah? :'

ya Allah..

dear heart.. its okay. :’

And then, you said that in Jannah all of the trees and the places, the walls that you have built out of your love... have the name of You and Muhammad s.a.w..

You write Rasulullah's name everywhere in Paradise..

The trees, the rocks and you give him special river ..

and he will be so close to You,

the most close to You,

staying so near to You.. forever and ever

ya Allah...

I don’t mind ya Allah.. i mean, of course..

I m okay ya Allah..

I m really okay ya Allah..

**

And the most that dear to my heart

Is of the way you comfort Rasulullah during isra’ Mi’raj

ya Allah..

you see his tears for his beloved wife and you feel him..

you see his tears for his beloved uncle and you feel him..

when his wife passed away..and it breaks him so much..

when his uncle passed away and it tears his heart so much..

And you comfort him so much

so much

so much

till you brought his up to you..in front of you..ya Allah..

when before…

no one of your creations ever passed the boundaries..

to be in front of you ..Allah, so close to you

but you choose him..out of us all..

and its okay..i am okay..i mean ..of course I’m okay :'

really I’m okay ya Allah…ya Allah..

and then he was up there, seeing you

being so close to you..

how do i..

how do i feel this..

tell me ya Allah

do my heart..feels alright..

and then at the time.

there was a moment that so mashaAllah

that he got salam from You..

directly from You

and we recite in our prayers every time..

'Assalamualayka ayyuhannabiyyu wa rahmatullahi..'

***

im really okay…

ya Allah

he must be much more amazing

And so much more in every way

that You have choose him so much

to be your love so much.